What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
