He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
