The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Holy shit dude........stairs
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
