paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
