you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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