you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize