something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
