It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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