im drinking this country out of the recession.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
