plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
