And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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