Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
