He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
