I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
