you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
