maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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