So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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