What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
