we have pet lesbian snakes
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
