These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
