Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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