You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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