She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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