I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My vagina is officially offended.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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