You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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