So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
