Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
