i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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