I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
