Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
