do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
