there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
