I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We don't watch enough power rangers
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
