You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
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