you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
