I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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