He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
