The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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