Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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