At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize