I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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