Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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