Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
