dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
