Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
