you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier