Texts From Last Night

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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.

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  (814): Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader. http://tfl.nu/y8oj
  Replies (62) Good night (7100) Bad night (876)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love

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  (516): I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love http://tfl.nu/fo0q
  Replies (41) Good night (2590) Bad night (4474)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.

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  (905): The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty. http://tfl.nu/9wi8
  Replies (100) Good night (12521) Bad night (2112)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.

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  (281): She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this. http://tfl.nu/u3zd
  Replies (46) Good night (10407) Bad night (1563)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life

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  (708): i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life http://tfl.nu/nn4z
  Replies (32) Good night (2006) Bad night (6097)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen

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  (732): I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen http://tfl.nu/5vux
  Replies (25) Good night (2636) Bad night (11283)
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  (415): View more from California

  there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am

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  (415): there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am http://tfl.nu/m06t
  Replies (2) Good night (1065) Bad night (2377)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"

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  (314): you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole" http://tfl.nu/qzvn
  Replies (11) Good night (2095) Bad night (1008)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.

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  (402): Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business. http://tfl.nu/965c
  Replies (14) Good night (972) Bad night (3025)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.

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  (440): Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis. http://tfl.nu/jmye
  Replies (7) Good night (1878) Bad night (705)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.

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  (612): And the cockring thing wasn't sexual. http://tfl.nu/ceb9
  Replies (19) Good night (425) Bad night (783)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.

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  (317): When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/w1kb
  Replies (2) Good night (609) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.

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  (419): Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people. http://tfl.nu/d5z4
  Replies (1) Good night (590) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead

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  (405): Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead http://tfl.nu/0hvl
  Replies (1) Good night (479) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.

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  (774): Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home. http://tfl.nu/bdgc
  Replies (2) Good night (363) Bad night (253)

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