Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.