I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
