Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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