Texts From Last Night

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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!

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  (902): It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time! http://tfl.nu/2h7j
  Replies (12) Good night (776) Bad night (3543)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring

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  (647): ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring http://tfl.nu/c0bs
  Replies (19) Good night (1165) Bad night (4934)
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  (516): View more from New York

  you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.

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  (516): you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer. http://tfl.nu/fm8w
  Replies (64) Good night (9119) Bad night (1305)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.

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  (856): He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college. http://tfl.nu/khqs
  Replies (6) Good night (966) Bad night (5850)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.

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  (305): Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright. http://tfl.nu/jxj8
  Replies (7) Good night (2762) Bad night (925)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?

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  (205): How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people? http://tfl.nu/uhl3
  Replies (5) Good night (2333) Bad night (573)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Im calling him

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember

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  (606): Im calling him (606): was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember http://tfl.nu/dfbx
  Replies (1) Good night (1069) Bad night (598)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So Monday we're lesbians.

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.

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  (717): So Monday we're lesbians. (1-717): Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball. http://tfl.nu/1nin
  Replies (6) Good night (1329) Bad night (488)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.

  (1+61): View more from

  Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.

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  (+61): I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover. (1+61): Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer. http://tfl.nu/so7s
  Replies (5) Good night (1650) Bad night (653)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.

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  (512): Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back. http://tfl.nu/xf8c
  Replies (5) Good night (1008) Bad night (501)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.

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  (250): If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you. http://tfl.nu/tnhh
  Replies (6) Good night (1022) Bad night (332)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?

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  (512): well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...? http://tfl.nu/6jqe
  Replies (1) Good night (353) Bad night (530)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  Was it a good conversation?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It was an awkward, sexual conversation.

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  (405): It was like we had a conversation with our eyes. (1-405): Was it a good conversation? (405): It was an awkward, sexual conversation. http://tfl.nu/99u8
  Replies (1) Good night (573) Bad night (217)
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  (849): View more from

  Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons

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  (849): Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons http://tfl.nu/2why
  Replies (6) Good night (478) Bad night (324)
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  (921): View more from

  Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.

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  (921): Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket. http://tfl.nu/0gfl
  Replies (2) Good night (440) Bad night (196)

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