Texts From Last Night

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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.

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  (857): Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time. http://tfl.nu/rsq1
  Replies (5) Good night (1514) Bad night (554)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.

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  (423): he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft. http://tfl.nu/x178
  Replies (345) Good night (3240) Bad night (17694)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.

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  (602): so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes. http://tfl.nu/egav
  Replies (28) Good night (8257) Bad night (1394)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.

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  (413): he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home. http://tfl.nu/1p9s
  Replies (5) Good night (962) Bad night (3552)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work

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  (208): I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work http://tfl.nu/ffxc
  Replies (20) Good night (1928) Bad night (3286)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly

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  (617): the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly http://tfl.nu/7zul
  Replies (3) Good night (1999) Bad night (888)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass

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  (541): definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass http://tfl.nu/ukpo
  Replies (6) Good night (1680) Bad night (835)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.

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  (360): I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now. http://tfl.nu/b1mw
  Replies (8) Good night (2910) Bad night (710)
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  (916): View more from California

  I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay

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  (916): I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay http://tfl.nu/vfh5
  Replies (13) Good night (1128) Bad night (2250)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.

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  (785): God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr. http://tfl.nu/5tpq
  Replies (5) Good night (1427) Bad night (670)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence

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  (802): Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence http://tfl.nu/e5a5
  Replies (6) Good night (1081) Bad night (652)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  He was the one that got away. From my vagina.

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  (647): He was the one that got away. From my vagina. http://tfl.nu/504c
  Replies (8) Good night (1611) Bad night (656)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.

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  (901): My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume. http://tfl.nu/vvcp
  Replies (2) Good night (734) Bad night (416)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.

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  (434): do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night? (540): yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you. http://tfl.nu/hqli
  Replies (1) Good night (904) Bad night (532)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class

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  (204): She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class http://tfl.nu/61qs
  Replies (8) Good night (720) Bad night (479)

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