Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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