I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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