I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
