I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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