I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
