you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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