Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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