508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I smell like Dick and happiness
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