Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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