Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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