I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
...so i touched it.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i think i just lost a toe
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
