it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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