Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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