my sisters under your porch take her home
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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