is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
